|
profile This is my blog, my memories and my laughter!! I am Minxue and I am just pretty much me! I am a Hospitality and Tourism Student, a Soka Gakkai member, a daughter and certainly a friend. I wish to travel around the world someday! Most importantly,enjoy what is there to enjoy and suffer what is there to suffer. Live each day to the fullest. This is my entity of life! This is what I strive to achieve =D rantings archives November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 affiliates adelina aloysius amy angela lim angela woo benji brenda cheryl clara clinton crystal denise hisham huimin jason jerry jesselyn jialin jiayi jiayu jieying jocelyn kaixian karen kimberly lynette madeline olivia puen ruhui samantha sheila shirui suzanne tessa TPSD weirong xingyi xinzi yeesin zakiah zijing
credits skin by: Jane |
Friday, July 21, 2006 @ 6:45 AM
my last 5 days have been like a roller coaster ride of different emotions I guess.. I hv to face the blow of my grandma's sudden death happen around 50 plus days b4 my prelims and just as when I was about to go intensive studying.. it was only 7 days ago I rmb after SSS.. I went down to the hospital to help massage her back bone and legs.. and today what I held in my hand at mandai was her remains.. her bones and ashes after the cremation..sunday night.. I was told that she was critical.. and all of us choing down to see her last moment alive... and yes all of us was crying.. I was forced to retun home.. despite my desperate appeals to stay and pon tank school.. so yes..my last words I whispered to my grandma.. " I am going home".. nthg else except this.. I walk out of the hospital ward and I know deep down that the next time I see my grandma again she will most probably be already gone.. the whole night I cannot slp.. literally and turning.. I woke up at 5 plus.. not my usual timing..and the freaky thing was the phone immediately rang.. my grandma pass away.. so yeah... I did my CT.. literally wetting the whole paper.. school dismissed early... canceled my movie POTC date with my friends.. went home.... at night the wake was like members friend.. all came down to pay respects and chant for my grandma..too.. over the next few days..wasvery tiring.. morn school.. night is like running around clearing area tables talking to friends hu came dwn. on tuesday had chinese test.. and after reading the passage I just feel asleep without even realising it..it was POMP and I was asleep.. but only for a few min b4 suz woke me up.... jiayu jiahui addy and tessa came dwn on that day.. thanks ppl... wednesday.. I was late in the morning not enuf sleep.. is purposely also.. cos I wanna pon PE.. I scared i faint and I need sleep.. so yeah my e zlink card got confiscated.. and hv to go collect it back from CCP.. and explain and stuff.. and CCP.. agreed not to pump me on compassionate terms.. I was like ....... but on that night itself some of the ICs came down and talk to us also got quite alot of the FLINT gang came down too and help my grandma chant.. was talking to them and stuff.. it was really nice. thursday.. yuan zi and ying qi..also came down.. they brought like flowers or smthg.. really sweet..was talkin them too.. and yes.. I think like they both are sooper nice ppl.. with loads of wisdom.. all of them are nice la.. FLINT.. all nice encouragers.. thanks fellas. and thursday.. PON SCHOOL.. dun ask me WHY.. it was also the last night.. yet I missed the whole memorial service.. due to some errand I need to run as insisted by my dad.. and the wastage of travelling time and eating time.. I wanted not to sleep so badly yesterday..but due to the fact that i might be the only kid left in wake.. I decided to go home.. xinzi still play a prank on me on thursday... I was like.. ARGH.. she went to change my contact list.. names.. like how angela can become poot poot. yiern become batman.. which is not supposed to be her nickname.. how my cousin cheryl yeo can become little red riding hood..and she is so not little and red.. qi qin became ah kao..sound so beng.. tessa become paul. sound so biblical...still got lee kuan yew.. and she go change her own contact to AJ maam.. with a big pupose to scare me.. and currently.. there is still a lee and johnny in my phone which I dunno hu issit.. so I took revenge and change the contacts in her phone.. baba lim became si ling ma'am.. miss hafizah became sensei.. so yeah sleep.. this morning was really like the worse day of all.. I cried and cried and cried.... esp when we offer our last prayers and stuff.. and they sealed the coffin up.. the worse of all gotta be the burning hall.. we went there and the coffin was like slowly being pushed into the furnance.. I totaly seh already.. no more seeing her again.. what I left of is photographs..and sweet memories.. of how she cared for each and everyone of us be it dinner or lunch.. I rmb when I was young she will always be asking us did we eat enuf and stuff.. she will choose to eat the fish head with alot of bones and leave the rest of the fish to us.. and how some of us at times just pan seh her for dinner by just calling in last minute say we not eating.. we going out with friends to eat.. and she hv to keep the food as leftovers to eat the next day.. the more I think about it the more feel sad.. I feel.. I guess I use to take things for granted.. it is very bu she de even until now.. but then again buddhism teach us" Life is eternal.. it does not have a beginning it does not hv an end.. it keep going on and on and on without stopping.. death is like sleeping after a hard day or work.. based on the writing a piece or mirror by daisaku ikeda.. perhaps the next time I see my grandma again.. I might even know that my name is call guo minxue.. so I was looking at her ashes and bones today after cremation.. and yes it was beautiful.. all those nice stuff I dunno what is tat sprouting out.. but it is nice jiu shi le as claim by the undertaker.. so yeah we place the urn at my grandpa there.. 2 urns combine.. into one place.. 8 years.. I haven see my grandpa.. and today i saw his remains again.. 8 years ago.. I did not go collect his ashes.. now that the whole thing is over.. I guess I just have to move forward.. no point looking back.,, it is already over..she will not come back.. my grandma wish was always to see us go TJC..since we live opposite it.. she was always like " u all must study hard then next time can go over there and study liao mah" last time we all like dun care but suddenly this thing like just knock me up.. I dun give a damm how lousy the school looks.. I think this school will be my ultimate target for this year Os bah.. and personally I want to go there as it is supposedly a homely school.. and I think their activites look fun.. this is perhaps the last thing I can do for her.. 50 days to prelims..( if I m not wrong ) GO GO GO |